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  • Writer's pictureAnya Smirnova

What I did not expect as a first-time-mum

Updated: Feb 19, 2021

What I did not expect when pregnant with my first baby was that the journey would be as much, if not more, about who I was and who I am. 

I imagined the baby would fit into our lives, between work and pilates. Not only this was not a realistic expectation, I soon faced some huge questions:

  • What kind of parent I wish for my children, and how do I measure up to that job description?

  • How to react to my husband having a different view on parenting?

  • The good and the bad (ouch) in me. When you are tired, your instinctive responses come out unfiltered.

  • New records of high and low.

  • How do I react to my own mistakes? And parenting is an ongoing trial and error.

  • How am I with other people's emotions? And life with a toddler is like travelling on an emotional rollercoaster.

  • I wish for my children to live happy and fulfilled lives and make the most of their potential. But am I showing them how to do that?

What I know for sure is that all women go through this transformation and they did not expect it to happen. It's like taking a plane to a relaxing beach holiday, and, instead, getting on a wild African safari. There is no return flight home. You can complain about the experience. Or you can gear up and prepare for the best adventure of your life: motherhood.

You can complain about the experience. Or you can gear up and prepare for the best adventure of your life: motherhood. 

I tried to avoid facing the transformation until it got too uncomfortable when my son was a toddler. It made me become an expert on the problem because there was and still is a vacuum of professional comprehensive support for working mums. Not the support focusing just on work, or just on parenting, or just on health, but on all of them as a system. I shovelled through tons of resources, attended conferences, spoke to 200+ women and 150+ healthcare professionals, trained as a coach to understand how humans go through change, to figure out "how working motherhood works" for our generation. 

I share all this knowledge with my clients, fellow working mums, offering a kind of "digest" of everything useful, important and necessary that you should know and understand, and guide you to find YOUR way to work, love, play and parent. After all, working mums often have neither the strength, nor the time, nor the ability to shovel all this themselves.



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